无法忍受
房间乱的有一段时间了, 一直懒得整理, 也就一直乱着. 其实整理了, 一天之后又是恢复原样.
自己也知道自己不是一个很有条理的人. 看着乱乱的房间想要整理时大脑一片空白. 东西太多, 都乱乱地放着.
具体有什么东西呢? 平时上街看到商店里的杂志啊, 就抱回来, 看到小纸条啊, 有设计的名片啊, 也拿, 广告画也拿, 宣传报纸也拿, 导游信息也拿, 去别人的毕业的艺术展, 酒瓶的软木塞也拿, 去一次日本壽司店, 那个装筷子的有该店logo的也拿, 在路上看到的树叶啊杂草啊也拿......
攒着的这些在别人看来毫无用处的东西, 就是不舍得丢, 想到以后要是想到弄点东西的时候应该用的上吧, 攒着攒着.
其实我从小就这样, 一直这样, 无法改变的. 我会羡慕那些整洁的人. 我就特别羡慕小裴, 跟她同桌的时候, 她的座位永远都是干净整洁的. 受她影响学了一段时间的整理, 跟她分开之后又乱了. 着方面我真的只是学样罢了. 就像身体里的血不能被逆转一样, 生来如此的, 强求不来.
有时侯很享受乱乱的房间, 在乱堆里翻找东西有很多乐趣, 有时候找不到就觉得自己很可笑的.房间乱不整理东西也找不到, 那不是自作自受?! "东西在哪里拿的就放回哪里就不会乱了!" 是这样的吗?可我的思绪就不能往一处去啊, 拿了的东西是哪里顺手就放哪里的, 就不记得它原来是属于哪里的了. 或者说它原来该属于的地方是我整理的时候强制规定的, 而根本不是它想要被放置的地方吧!
最近终于想要整理是因为事情实在太多太烦了, 申请大学和预备大学课程的文件一放到那个垃圾堆里, 就不记得哪些是做好的, 哪些还需要修改的, 甚至会找不到那些文件袋. 冬天要买衣服, 过圣诞节要给别人买礼物, 雪天想给自己买个雨靴,还有一些乱七八糟的吃的东西. 计划表和帐单往垃圾堆里一丢, 就不记得自己买过什么, 花过多少钱, 还有什么是需要买的, 还有多少钱剩.
最近还有点要超支的不详预感, 因为到这边什么都没有, 什么都想买, 想起以前在家哪有这样花钱的, 几乎每个月的50元都可以攒的下来, 有很多后备资金. 可现在钱总觉得不够, 自己也没有工作, 妈妈也不想让我去工作, 怕影响学习, 我想明年暑假应该可以找一份工作来干干. 希望可以在面包店工作. 这个还要打听一下行情. 总的来说不太喜欢"打工"这个词, 还有"工作" 也不是很喜欢, 因为会联想到那些每天像机器一样的, 运作同样程序的人. 麻木的, 不进取的. 可能是偏见吧!~说到底我也是要打工啊, 给自己赚点零花钱嘛!
不多说了, 搞清洁吧, 搞清洁吧, 也尽量把自己捡垃圾的习惯改改.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Noble Chocolate
The purer the chocolate, the higher its quality will be.
Today afternoon, I went to RICHART, there was a small party there, and I found out what was the different between the chocolate saled in RICHART and CVS. I knew more about chocolate, the high quality chocolate.
" What is the different between the chocolates sales here and those sales in the CVS?"
" It is so much different. You just tast it you will know. The chocolate saled here is high persantage. We have the best coco beans. The chocolates here are from France... Our chocolate have been checked for three times before they been saled."
I understood what the woman mean by saying that, but it was not a deal, she didn't give me meaningful information about the chocolate I want to know.
I asked another lady, and got want I want and really have some valueble information about the cheap chocolate and the expensive chocolate. She was more rational, and the first woman was more emotional. If I know nnothing about chocolate, or I don't have enough information, how can I tell the different?
" The chocolates saled in CVS are cheap. They didn't use the best coco beans. As you ask them where theri coco beans are from, they said they don't know. They can't even tell where their coco beans came from, but the best chocolate will have its best beans, as they have their best chocolate, they will tell you where their coco beans are from. You know what I mean!~"
"The cheaper chocolate saled in CVS, they used suger to cover the tast. Like some people use many different kind of sauces to cover the tast of meat's tast, then you can't tell what is the meat's tast. You know what I mean!"
"They kind of fool people. They want to hid something that is not good!" I responded.
"Exactly, exactly, exactly......"
" There too much suger and other things add in those cholocates."
" So it tasts like over sweet. It is like over make ups that different form the natural beauty!"
"Exactly, exactly, exactly, exactly......"
"I have tasted the one over there, it is sweet. Do they used suger also?"
" It is not suger, it is like... I can't find a exact word for the tast let me show you."
"Oh this one?"
" Yes, take that again."
"How is it feel?"
"Oh, I see. It is the natural sweet, it grow like that."
"Right!"
" Like different coco beans from different place, it tasts different because of its envirenment make it tast like that, you know."
" We used pure coco to make chocolate bars."
" Many people don't know that. So they just the one saled in CVS. So it is not health."
After the communication, I gain a lot and learn more about chocolate. And know what kind of chocolate I am going to choose. Even though the best chocolate is expensive, it is valueble and health for our bodies. I am not going to buy a lot of that. I don't have that much money, but if I want to buy chocolate, I won't choose those sales in CVS any more, I have better choice.
(In Chinese)
Today afternoon, I went to RICHART, there was a small party there, and I found out what was the different between the chocolate saled in RICHART and CVS. I knew more about chocolate, the high quality chocolate.
" What is the different between the chocolates sales here and those sales in the CVS?"
" It is so much different. You just tast it you will know. The chocolate saled here is high persantage. We have the best coco beans. The chocolates here are from France... Our chocolate have been checked for three times before they been saled."
I understood what the woman mean by saying that, but it was not a deal, she didn't give me meaningful information about the chocolate I want to know.
I asked another lady, and got want I want and really have some valueble information about the cheap chocolate and the expensive chocolate. She was more rational, and the first woman was more emotional. If I know nnothing about chocolate, or I don't have enough information, how can I tell the different?
" The chocolates saled in CVS are cheap. They didn't use the best coco beans. As you ask them where theri coco beans are from, they said they don't know. They can't even tell where their coco beans came from, but the best chocolate will have its best beans, as they have their best chocolate, they will tell you where their coco beans are from. You know what I mean!~"
"The cheaper chocolate saled in CVS, they used suger to cover the tast. Like some people use many different kind of sauces to cover the tast of meat's tast, then you can't tell what is the meat's tast. You know what I mean!"
"They kind of fool people. They want to hid something that is not good!" I responded.
"Exactly, exactly, exactly......"
" There too much suger and other things add in those cholocates."
" So it tasts like over sweet. It is like over make ups that different form the natural beauty!"
"Exactly, exactly, exactly, exactly......"
"I have tasted the one over there, it is sweet. Do they used suger also?"
" It is not suger, it is like... I can't find a exact word for the tast let me show you."
"Oh this one?"
" Yes, take that again."
"How is it feel?"
"Oh, I see. It is the natural sweet, it grow like that."
"Right!"
" Like different coco beans from different place, it tasts different because of its envirenment make it tast like that, you know."
" We used pure coco to make chocolate bars."
" Many people don't know that. So they just the one saled in CVS. So it is not health."
After the communication, I gain a lot and learn more about chocolate. And know what kind of chocolate I am going to choose. Even though the best chocolate is expensive, it is valueble and health for our bodies. I am not going to buy a lot of that. I don't have that much money, but if I want to buy chocolate, I won't choose those sales in CVS any more, I have better choice.
(In Chinese)
巧克力的高贵
现在有点感觉高贵的东西大多是纯色系的, 而花俏的tend to be劣质的. 这个定义来自对chocolate的全新认识.
原来我以前吃的好吃的那些像chocolate都不是真的chocolate. 既然现在知道的事实, 就想和大家分享一下, 也让更多的人了解好的chocolate.
以前在中国的时候, 听过的好的chocolate就是Dove(德芙)了. 记得当时那个在北海卖还挺贵的, 就以为那个就是高级的chocolate了, 到了美国, 在CVS商店, Dove卖很便宜.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
变动
今天在图书馆见到个认识的人, 来自墨西哥, 她跟我谈到她的理想. 她说希望能到哈佛MIT念书, 因为那是很好的大学. 她希望在将来能赚很多钱, 但是她知道上那样的大学要很优秀. 她很坦诚的: " I know I have to work really really hard to get in." 在那一刻, 我听到这样的话, 不再是像以前一样怀疑对方的能力, 而是由衷的想要鼓励她, 为她加油, 因为无论她是否能实现她的最终梦想, 在她身上我已经看到了她的渴望与执着, 看到了她的独立能力与进步的思想. 她才上高中一年级, 15岁, 在很多问题上看得比我这个该是称为前辈的还清晰. 也许是因为家庭的关系使她不得不成熟起来. 与之相比, 我恐怕逊色很多.
我在我人为是个相当不完善的个体, 需要修补改进的地方还有很多很多. 她说以后要找高薪的工作, 然后再从事艺术. 我想想这也很好, 但对于我来说, 我就只有艺术的话, 可选的领域就大大受到限制, 这对于我来说不是什么太好的事, 只是事业比较专一就是了.
看到年轻的人有时间有机会有理想有目标, 心里时常会失态, 会自卑, 刚刚建立的自信与计划又会被撞一下. 刚刚摆放好的天平又...... 看着别人,总是坚定不了. 习惯了观望别人的幸福, 忘了自己是怎样活下来的, 有时 也会忘要怎样继续或下去, 只是一直悲伤,一直悲伤.
想太多了乱七八糟的就很想吐, 所以现在都尽量不去想, 让自己只朝着属于自己的方向去前进, 因为事态的关系,机遇的关系, 很多东西强求不来的, 例如去念哈佛对与我的情况来说就很不现实了. 哈佛不是想进就进的, 每个目的的达成需要某个特定的路线, 某些特定的规则, 某些必要的时间和某些不可多得的机遇. 有些东西一旦错过了, 就不再有奇迹的了, 所以要另找出路. 用别的方法找寻最适合自己的东西. 这才是明智的, 才是对的选择.
我也许失去了很多别人可以拥有的机会, 但我还不至于一无所有, 我要明确的是我前面的路. 要怎么走? 向哪个方向? 速度多快? 在现在的情况跟别人比较是比较困难的事, 因为变量太多,怎么比也不实际, 但是在做工上不能输给别人, 做到问心无愧, 自己满意就很好了.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
SAT Test
I took the SAT test on Oct.4th. in cambridge latin shool, which near Harvard. I did not feel as scare as the begining. I quited the first SAT teat on June, because I was extreamly scared. But now, I feel relax even though I will not get a very high score, I tried my best. I have the experience from the test, I did not miss any thing.
When the train acrossed the brige which acrosse Charles river, I felt that I was back to myself! I was back to my place! I was back to my seat! I was back to my statment! I am back. I am back to the one I am proun of. I am not going to evade any more.
Actually, SAT test is a really great test, I love the test, even though I did not do good on it. Stady SAT vocabularies is a lot of fun.
I took the SAT test on Oct.4th. in cambridge latin shool, which near Harvard. I did not feel as scare as the begining. I quited the first SAT teat on June, because I was extreamly scared. But now, I feel relax even though I will not get a very high score, I tried my best. I have the experience from the test, I did not miss any thing.
When the train acrossed the brige which acrosse Charles river, I felt that I was back to myself! I was back to my place! I was back to my seat! I was back to my statment! I am back. I am back to the one I am proun of. I am not going to evade any more.
Actually, SAT test is a really great test, I love the test, even though I did not do good on it. Stady SAT vocabularies is a lot of fun.
Experience VS. Talent?
用经验与天赋比, 哪个优势大一些?
今天物理成绩发下来了, 让我郁闷了很久很久. 成绩是班上的第二名, 只比第一名少一分. 但是, 跟有过四年物理学习经验的我比, 他没有任何的物理学习背景, 成绩还比我高了一分. 不得不承认他是有天份的人. 他的老师也建议他并支持他报读MIT. 我真的有那么水吗?
其实我爱物理,也爱数学.但总是没有别人做的好.
我讨厌他, 理论上讲, I suppose to do better than him, but actualy he did better than me, 让我的自尊心受到严重的打击. 很让人受不了! 只想说一个字--靠!
我自人为是个很骄傲的人, 一个事实上没有超群能力或天赋但却傲慢的人. 这叫什么呢? 是自负吧! 骄傲--是我心里一直默默存在的意念. 这份意念现在变得强烈起来, 让我的心也不安分起来. 在我的意念中我比任何人都优秀, 我应该比他们都优秀. 这意念是我前进的原动力, 有时也是我外表看起来冰冷的主要原因. 我不明白为什么自己那么自命不凡, 有时很讨厌自己这样, 因为这样很累, 但就是控制不了自己这么去想. 我常常调侃自己, 向自己解释说: 也许我上辈子是帝王. 但现在看来我那个帝王当得也不怎么样.
我的骄傲是与生具来的, 像一块负在颈项上的与生具来的印记. 它有时是极其丑陋的, 有时又是极具诱惑力的. 悖论决定了我多半是个矛盾的个体.
(待续......)
用经验与天赋比, 哪个优势大一些?
今天物理成绩发下来了, 让我郁闷了很久很久. 成绩是班上的第二名, 只比第一名少一分. 但是, 跟有过四年物理学习经验的我比, 他没有任何的物理学习背景, 成绩还比我高了一分. 不得不承认他是有天份的人. 他的老师也建议他并支持他报读MIT. 我真的有那么水吗?
其实我爱物理,也爱数学.但总是没有别人做的好.
我讨厌他, 理论上讲, I suppose to do better than him, but actualy he did better than me, 让我的自尊心受到严重的打击. 很让人受不了! 只想说一个字--靠!
我自人为是个很骄傲的人, 一个事实上没有超群能力或天赋但却傲慢的人. 这叫什么呢? 是自负吧! 骄傲--是我心里一直默默存在的意念. 这份意念现在变得强烈起来, 让我的心也不安分起来. 在我的意念中我比任何人都优秀, 我应该比他们都优秀. 这意念是我前进的原动力, 有时也是我外表看起来冰冷的主要原因. 我不明白为什么自己那么自命不凡, 有时很讨厌自己这样, 因为这样很累, 但就是控制不了自己这么去想. 我常常调侃自己, 向自己解释说: 也许我上辈子是帝王. 但现在看来我那个帝王当得也不怎么样.
我的骄傲是与生具来的, 像一块负在颈项上的与生具来的印记. 它有时是极其丑陋的, 有时又是极具诱惑力的. 悖论决定了我多半是个矛盾的个体.
(待续......)
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